When Going Out – The Magic of Dressing Well

Yesterday evening my sisters and I readied ourselves for an evening out, putting on pretty tops to go with an elegant, slim pair of dark jeans or a knee-length black skirt, fixing our hair, and adding a final spray of Sea-breeze scented perfume.

(To pause a moment for what may be a necessary note of clarification: though the title of this post is “When Going Out,” it refers not to dating and going out with… *ahem* a boy… but a general “going out” as in literally stepping out your door.)

What we were arranging ourselves for was to attend our youngest sister’s dance recital. There was something special about getting dressed up for the occasion – though most of the people in attendance were wearing jeans and a t-shirt with maybe a zip-up sweater or a hoodie. But during intermission, from our vantage point in the audience, one lady in a flowing black dress and heels stood out. She was not show-offy or ostentatiously dressed – it was simple; yet it was beautiful and attractive, making her stand out in her elegance.

A similar thing happened when I went to a children’s play production last week. The general impression of prominent clothing choices among the audience was jeans and hoodies, but one family walked in in their Sunday best. It didn’t seem out of place at all, but it placed a sense of value and excitement about what we were going to see – that this production was worth getting dressed up for. And this was even more evident during Tech Week (as backstage crew, I was able to get the behind-the-scenes perspective as well); in theatre of all things – with its long hours of rehearsal, its demand for flexible movement, and the naturally resulting desire for comfort – it’s tempting to just throw on your comfiest clothing. Being backstage, I found myself wearing whatever was loose-fitting and even balancing on the borderline of sloppy. Especially since the whole cast was wearing sweats or leggings and hoodies, I was only fitting in.

But among the cast, one of the older girls unfailingly came in a print dress or a tasteful skirt or jeans with a sophisticated blouse- the elegance of her attire matched the elegance of her smile, and the way she put care into what she wore was reflected in the way she put care into her attitude towards others. It took one smile from her to enchant the younger children, for her smile was charm itself and she simply exuded grace and elegance. She was prepossessing in an unassuming, cordial, and unpretentious way.

There is certainly an inherent value in putting some extra work into one’s appearance to look elegant and refined when one leaves the house. It’s incredible to think how much our outer appearance reflects our interior attitude – and it not only reflects, but also impacts it. And it’s also quite beautiful to think that simply by dressing with some extra care that reflects our femininity, we can bring joy into someone else’s day when they see us. Clothes can help us express ourselves – cheesy as the expression is – and they can inspire. Not because clothes in themselves have some transcendent quality about themselves, but because in our use of them we acknowledge the inextricable connection of our exterior and interior states. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and when we dress ourselves well, we are reminding others – and ourselves – that we are made in the image and likeness of God.

As Amy March, from Little Women, put it, “Let us be elegant or die!”

 

Cultivating Femininity Series

So what I’ve been dreaming up the in past while has been writing about femininity. It’s a topic that I think intrigues every girl, because, well – femininity is part of every girl’s identity. Even the tomboy desires and possesses certain feminine characteristics- such as the compassionate, impulsive heart of Jo March and the courageous, unselfish heart of Ocie Nash. It’s part of what makes them so beautiful and attractive to us.

Little girls play with dolls and have a general passion for pink, for ballet, and for tea parties and playing house. Many teen girls care about school, dances, make-up, clothes, how they will appear to boys their age, their conversations, their friendships. Older ladies talk about their children, their marriages, their jobs, how they can contribute to the lives of others and how others are affecting their own lives. I think the interests of girls at every age point to something deep inside them, at the centre of their hearts. It is a “richness of sensitivity, intuitiveness, generosity and fidelity.” (Pope JPII, Letter to Women, 1995)

Girls in the past used to be instructed by their mothers or governesses on how to be ladies. We see in stories such as Cinderella and the Twelve Dancing Princesses (at least, the Barbie version…) that fathers would even re-marry after their wives died simply to be able to provide a good model and instructor for their daughters, someone who would teach them how to act with grace and elegance.

Over the past years, I’ve been trying to find ways to become more feminine. Sometimes I’ve been inspired by characters in book, movies, or history; other times, by girls’ blogs and yes, Pinterest boards too. But what I’ve looked for, and haven’t been able to find (yet!) is a blog dedicated to ideas all about simultaneously growing in holiness and in femininity. So I hope that through writing this Cultivating Femininity Series, I shall be able to meet readers and bloggers who are also interested in these topics and we shall have grand conversations via posts and the comment thread!:)

There’s so many ways to grow as a person and as a daughter of God, while learning about life, having fun, and pursuing holiness and ultimate sanctity. Now, with a little motivation and a good time, we can blog away, make friends, and work on our pathway to becoming saints!