How to Lose Your Blog Followers in One Easy Post…

 

 so, do you ever experience those moments where your brain is all a jumble and you can’t think at all- simply because the night has cast its mysterious aura (if I’m using this word incorrectly, it’s cause I don’t even know what it means… but it does sound right in this sentence to me!) and your grammar is all messy and disshevelled just like my hair when I wake up in the morning…

and then you wonder, is ANYBODY going to read such a useless, time-consuming post?? so then you begin to berate yourself for wasting the time of poor, unsuspecting victims who innocently click on your blog only to go BAM! and find themselves lost in the world of your *ahem* insightful and intelligent (…) musings about how to write a post when it is nearly 4 in the morning.

So why don’t I be a little more productive- and *GASP at my ingenuity and astounding ideas! oh the capabilities of my humble brain! oh the marvels! oh the- well, I’m sure you have grasped the remarkable aspects of my mind and it is needless for me to go much more into depth now.

So my ingenious idea is to:

OFFER GUIDELINES on how to write a late night post!!!!!!!

1. Write about your remarkable mind and the thoughts you come up with. The most incredible insights come at around 3 in  the morning.  Even telepathy becomes possible at this time of night/morning. Now, this has been proven multiple times to be a fact. For example, if you are having a sleepover and you shine a flashlight at the clock to see what time it is, your friend should be perfectly able have this knowledge transferred to their own mind without the necessity of spoken words. Eyes widened= 1 am. Quiet gasp= 2am. Small squeal= 3am. Sudden burst of incontrollable laughter and the sudden fear of death by suffocating from the excess of giggling= clearly past 4 AM.

2. Allow your hands to explore the keyboard. Out of consideration for my poor readers who are most likely no longer reading at this point, having had sufficient proof of my insanity, and out of concern for their own sanity probably abandoned this blog forever, I have taken extra precautions to keep my spelling correct. Because you really have no idea how many typo’s I’m making, but for the sake of my dear lovely readers I’m doing my very best to avoid every single one. But now, to get it out of my system: ckdjiefoajnvnhfiehjakljaoj ;kanmla;ipauut787rfjinhjlzcv;aidoeifkjlann aldjf

okay, that was fun! (btw, that was totally random keys so if any words came out of it, it was unintentional. This mostly applies to the risky possibility that I might have accidentally written some bad word in a different language that I don’t even know)

3. Go to sleep and stop writing before you lose every single follower you ever gained.

So that means, goodnight!

And good luck with your next endeavour at writing a late night/ early morning post! I’m sure you’ll keep my valuable guidelines in mind 😉 jkjk I don’t want you to lose all your readers!

Okay, ciao!

P.S.  to all my followers- I love you!!!!!!!! 🙂

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1 Comment

Filed under Blogging, Random, Writing

One response to “How to Lose Your Blog Followers in One Easy Post…

  1. lol Thanks for letting us know! I’ll keep care to remember that.

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